Hit or miss

Writing for me lately has been hit or miss, i have been writing more in my personal journal and working on other things but its time to get back into the swing of things. i love writing and need to do it more often, sometimes it just doesn't happen.

What does anyone think of the news lately, personally i think its really messed up...are we starting to face the beginning of the zombie apocalypse?? i mean people are eating others faces off, eating their babies brains and a guy in Mexico eating his roommate.  All coincidences??? Maybe, who knows, i guess time will tell.

Fibromyalgia is an evil disease, ive been dealing with it being moderately acting up, being that im able to get out of bed i wouldnt say its severe but its not far from it. No one understands its grasp it can have on a person. ive came to the point of cutting out gluten, potatoes, tomatoes and slowly trying to cut out meat as well. im hoping these changes help, oh and cutting out caffeine as well, which completely sucks but hey, if i need to i need to. i just need to get healthier.

im starting to accept me as me again, even if others dont agree with me, its who i am. Love me or leave me, its their choice.  With a few recent things im truly realizing the only ways i can function and what makes me tick. Control, or i should say handing control over to someone else is how i function best. i do not function on my own, i dont know how to and even if i wanted to i dont feel i could, the world is a cold evil place where a free woman faces danger at each and every turn of her life. i dont like the thought of things that could happen, or the risks that i take when i dont have someone calling the shots for me. Not that at times i dont feel guilty for being who i am but just as a cat cant change into a bunny, this slave cannot turn into a free woman, its not possible,i struggle, mess up, cant control anything, not even my health. Yet on the flip side i do not see myself as weak by any means as i know my place in society and im not afraid to admit it to anyone.

i feel each and every person on the face of this earth deserves to be happy no matter what that means to them or what it takes to get them there. For some this can be personal relationships, religion or even what an individual chooses to be their moral values.

Live life to its fullest, tomorrow is not a promise.