Wow am i in pain

 im seriously hurting right now. If it wasnt 3 am i would probably want to go the emergency room. i havent been eating out much and today/yesterday, whatever you want to call it as im still awake so its still today for me, anyway i had McDonalds for lunch and Pizza for dinner, now my best move. im supposed to cut tomatoes, potatoes and gluten from my diet and i had bunches of all of that. Everything from my neck down is aching like mad. i took tylenol and motrin and its not touching it. i feel like im going to throw up from the pain.

So..this is only proof that these things do affect me and in a more major way than i had thought. Of course i did have them in more than usual quantities for me today and im sure that that along with any preservatives, grease and just the general too many carbs didnt help either. Heres the thing, i was already about to break my cane out   again as im still hurting from grooming the dogs 4 days ago and now this.

i get soo frustrated as i was just thinking tonight about chancing my odds and trying to go to school or even find something i could do as far as work and then this settles in. Others have no clue how i feel about anything right now. This pain makes me feel worthless and useless and no one understands that while they cannot see my pain or see that i am disabled that i am. im not joking around, i have all the documents to prove it. im not proud of it by any means but its real and there is nothing i can do to make it go away. Even if i were to get the spinal injections my stenosis would not go away, nor would my fibromyalgia, PTSD, or degenerative disc disease. People laugh and tell me well i have that too and it doesnt bother me... try having these things combined, not just one or two but try three major things with my back...im seriously lucky to be doing as well as i am being able to get out of bed every day.

Yes, life fucking sucks. im sitting here in tears from the pain and am on the verge of an anxiety attack due to the severity of it all...some days i just wish i could walk in front of a bus and have it all end.