So, i had an appointment with the dentist to have a broken tooth fixed and it was a new dentist. i really liked her and she did a wonderful job. In fact i go back tomorrow for a cleaning that im about a month overdue for.
im really trying to pull myself back together. i went out and got a 3 divider notebook to record my daily meds, food/liquid intake and daily activity. i also picked up a little pocket calendar so i can better keep track of appointments.
The worst of it all was that i had no sleep last night and i was dozing off at the dentist waiting for the Novocaine to take full affect. i dozed off so hard at one point that i started to dream and when i workup startled i started crying because in my dream my ex was there with me as he always was when i went to the dentist.
When will this shit end??? im trying soo hard to move on and my mind keep bringing him backup...i dont know how to handle it. i do see my counselor in the morning, maybe they will be able to help. ive been crying off and on ever since that happened and this is just becoming more than i can take.
it was nice coming back home to the boys and zoe where i know that Bones is here to comfort me.
Theres nothing i wouldnt give right now to have someone here to just hold me while i cried this out.
i did do a few other things today such as we went to Walmart and i got some fabric to make zoe a few dresses and picked up a few other things i needed.
We then went running errands which was nice and i kept trying to change my train of thought and it helped a bit, we even went to the dollar tree where i picked up a few things for the dogs and found a few other things ive been looking to get.
Oh and when at Walmart they had Rocky Horror Picture Show for only 5 bucks...i had to have it. i try to be careful and not spend too much on un needed things so ive pretty much used my allowance for that up but i didnt get anything big and with the day ive had i needed something to cheer me up.
i brought the crew home cheeseburgers as i promised and they loved them as usual.
Right now im kicked back in the recliner with Zoe in my lap and i think im going to settle in for a nap as ive been up over 24 hours now and im exhausted which isnt helping anything.
At this point all i can think is that i wish i had someone who could go with me to my appointment tomorrow, its not that im a chicken at the dentist as im fine on my own now as far as the dental stuff is concerned, i just want the shock of being alone there to stop, im soo used to not doing these things on my own.
i really wonder if im not headed towards a nervous breakdown at this point as i cant handle anything...
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