The difference between dom and Master in my mind.

The difference between dom and Master in my mind.

Yes, im picking apart titles again.  Ive done sub and slave, and I have done this one but kept it private. So, its time to redo it as I really have a new view of things now. 

In my opinion a Dom is much like a sub..just read before you say WTF is she thinking… A Dom has control over another but unlike a Master Doesn’t know how to enforce that control in a way that will work for the long term. They tend to be control freaks and natural Mastery is not in their veins. Im not saying that’s always bad but they dream just as subs do at attaining things they don’t know how to reach. Im not saying they cant, but theres a difference between a natural Master and a Dom.  The Doms ive known have been able to dish out structure, pain, play, and all of that but maintaining it is a whole different story. When a natural slave is with a Dom the slave often gets left behind to struggle in a world not knowing why..messing up when they don’t feel they do and in fact ive discovered that if a slave took their issues to a natural Master they say the issue falls with the Dom, not always the slave. Im not saying slaves are faultless by any means as me being a slave I know ive messed up in the past but didn’t understand why until I starting picking things apart and analyzing the situation in bits and pieces.

A Master who was born a Master finds a way to get through anything thrown their way without just discarding issues as someone elses fault. They find out how their slave ticks and either works on wiring them in a healthier way or flat out says something isn’t acceptable and works with the slave on fixing the issue without just giving up. 

I took the time to look at wiki definitions and I have to say I don’t agree with a lot of it. I think a Dom is closer to a top. To me a Master isn’t really close to either with the exception that all of them top another but a top or dom is limited in their roles thru what their subs are willing to give up. Where as a Master isn’t limited by anything but their own minds. A Master who has earned the title is sane enough to realize that while their mind id the only thing that limits them they still don’t cross the line into doing any long term or permanent damage to their slave as they cherish and care for their property and a broken slave is of no use to a Master.

In my experience a Dom may figure out how im hardwired, may try and change my wiring but not back it up with anything but requests and empty punishments left undished out. They may desire a change but making it happen is another story and it doesn’t take long for them to throw up their arms and be frustrated or done.

A Master on the other hand figures out how im hardwired, and works with it using guidance that’s backed up with true consequences and lines I dare not cross. Working with these things until the desired outcome is realized and brought to light. Not giving up, losing tempers or getting overly frustrated as they know how to handle themselves. Never a pushover and creative in how they shape their slave, sometimes making the changes so subtle that the slave may not even realize a change is being made until its done. A very firm hand that being tested doesn’t need to be done as the slave just knows and does not push those things. A level of respect that they don’t command but have earned and you can tell by even being around them. 

Many Masters need a slave as a sub doesn’t always do, subs want to keep their control and many Masters want need and deserve being given all, not part.

I tend to also line up what I refer to as weekenders as Doms and subs as out of the weekend scene a Dom is often controlled by another be it in the workplace or at home as play is only behind doors and doesn’t extend to everyday life. Subs tend to want to control their things, finances, work how the house is ran. Im not saying one is better than the other in anything ive wrote as what one choses and is happy with if fine. To each their own, there is no right or wrong way to live as long as the person is happy in what they choose.

All of this is merely things ive observed over time and how I feel about it. Im not writing this to get flamed but I do have my extinguisher ready as im sure it will happen but I feel too passionate about this topic not to post.