My curse

My curse

I was born with a nasty curse. Some may call it a gift but ive struggled with it since I can remember. Im an empath , everyone I come into contact with I feel their emotions and sometimes their physical pain. Im the person that can walk into a store and I get cornered by anyone who needs to talk. I cant count the times Ive went to buy groceries and get cornered my a little old lady who spills her guts out to me wearing my emotions down to mere nubs. Do I have “I can feel your feelings spill your guts” written on my forehead? Sometimes it seems that way.

I have friends who are empaths and they have learned to put their guard up to protect themselves, lucky them. Ive tried for years to build that wall that I can use at will then send it away but it just sits there in a pile, never guarding me when I need it. Tiger eyes for protection don’t work for me in this case as id like them to. Its not that I want to turn everyone away, I just want to manage it better and be open to receive peoples issues when I feel like it. I mean, come on, when im running into a store to grab milk and that’s it I don’t always have the time to listen to everyone’s issues, or to talk with the cashier about how crappy her boyfriend is..yes, ive heard it all.  Once I was even stuck in a situation where a lady was telling me about her son in rehab..i wanted to find coffee, don’t mess with a girl when shes not had her first cup of coffee, my light is off and I don’t remember much of what anyone says, especially strangers.

The thing is im compassionate, I like reaching out to others in need or letting them talk. It just drains me to the core when im not not prepared.

I enjoy happy people, they make life easier I don’t get as drained and I can feel their energy. I can be upset for some reason and if someone happy walks in my whole mood changes, it’s a wonderful thing in that case. 

So, bottom line I struggle with people at times just for this reason. Many don’t understand it and I don’t ask anyone to as its not their issue but just making others aware makes life a bit easier as sometimes those in the know find a way to guard themselves against me and that makes it so much better for all involved.